thank you so so much for this essay! once i've read that cringing about our past selves is a sign of growth and since then i tried to live by this sentence, although sometimes it can be tempting to delete/archive all old instagram posts or just erase everything i've ever done from the internet and make new, clean space for the present version of myself (especially when some of my old posts and thoughts might be inculpatory in the new contexts). i reminisce my past selves with a grain of salt, but as well with a teaspoon of nostalgia – the more the time passes, the more i appreciate my past selves haven't erased my even-paster selves from my identity.
this is the first time i've ever commented on a substack essay so it's a real deal. tysm again<3
Pola, thank you so much for reading and for leaving such a thoughtful comment! <3 I knew this topic was 'niche' and might flop lol, so the comments and messages from people who Get It mean a lot. The best part about writing is realizing that you're not the only person who has felt what you're feeling. A new, clean space is so tempting, but I know that you and your past selves and "even paster selves" deserve to persevere - and probably, whatever our 'newest' selves come up with won't be good enough for our even newer selves one day. NO ONE is free of cringe if they're growing, like you said. Thank you again for your perspective!
this was amazing! you’re such an articulate, thoughtful writer, and I really relate to the sentiments you are capturing here. I remember when I turned 18, I tore out the pages of my journal from when I was younger because i was embarrassed by that version of myself and wanted a “clean slate”. I regret that now in my mid twenties, I’m missing so much of the context of my teenage self, the self that eventually grew into who I am today. But that same sort of perfectionism, that need to have everything I create be a perfect representation of myself and the peak of my abilities, holds me back as a writer. I hope I can move past the paralysis of my own self-criticism as I chart my substack journey. To be a creative is to be on a process of constant evolution, and we owe it to ourselves to honor that journey!!
Mika!!! You are too kind. I'm relieved this isn't a totally niche experience, but also sad that so many of us are so hard on ourselves and have lost 'records' of our creative journeys. "To be a creative is to be on a process of constant evolution, and we owe it to ourselves to honor that journey" <-- I love how you put that, it's so true! It's never going to be perfect, but it should be revered in some way!
thank you so so much for this essay! once i've read that cringing about our past selves is a sign of growth and since then i tried to live by this sentence, although sometimes it can be tempting to delete/archive all old instagram posts or just erase everything i've ever done from the internet and make new, clean space for the present version of myself (especially when some of my old posts and thoughts might be inculpatory in the new contexts). i reminisce my past selves with a grain of salt, but as well with a teaspoon of nostalgia – the more the time passes, the more i appreciate my past selves haven't erased my even-paster selves from my identity.
this is the first time i've ever commented on a substack essay so it's a real deal. tysm again<3
Pola, thank you so much for reading and for leaving such a thoughtful comment! <3 I knew this topic was 'niche' and might flop lol, so the comments and messages from people who Get It mean a lot. The best part about writing is realizing that you're not the only person who has felt what you're feeling. A new, clean space is so tempting, but I know that you and your past selves and "even paster selves" deserve to persevere - and probably, whatever our 'newest' selves come up with won't be good enough for our even newer selves one day. NO ONE is free of cringe if they're growing, like you said. Thank you again for your perspective!
this was amazing! you’re such an articulate, thoughtful writer, and I really relate to the sentiments you are capturing here. I remember when I turned 18, I tore out the pages of my journal from when I was younger because i was embarrassed by that version of myself and wanted a “clean slate”. I regret that now in my mid twenties, I’m missing so much of the context of my teenage self, the self that eventually grew into who I am today. But that same sort of perfectionism, that need to have everything I create be a perfect representation of myself and the peak of my abilities, holds me back as a writer. I hope I can move past the paralysis of my own self-criticism as I chart my substack journey. To be a creative is to be on a process of constant evolution, and we owe it to ourselves to honor that journey!!
Mika!!! You are too kind. I'm relieved this isn't a totally niche experience, but also sad that so many of us are so hard on ourselves and have lost 'records' of our creative journeys. "To be a creative is to be on a process of constant evolution, and we owe it to ourselves to honor that journey" <-- I love how you put that, it's so true! It's never going to be perfect, but it should be revered in some way!